Comments on: Apologia

By: redcrabb

redcrabb — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 01:37:28 +0000

uuuuhhhhh…wha….having a hard time forming words. okay, you have got to be kidding…who says things like that???? what would her reaction have been if you then said, “oh, well, I am a lesbian….”

By: goofdad

goofdad — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 02:45:41 +0000

For bad apologies … I find that ANY apology in the form “I’m sorry about X BUT Y” always rankles. I’ve worked hard to teach my kids that if you’re making excuses for your behavior then you’re using the apology as a platform to keep X going (whatever X may be). If you’re truly going to apologize then just do it and be done.

Now … for a good apology:
Couple weeks back a news story came on the radio about gay marriage. My carpool mate went off, yelling about how he doesn’t believe in that and that the bible said it was wrong. He went on and on.

The problem is, I have very strong opinions, too. See http://parentingsurvival.blogspot.com/2010/01/family.html#Mousie for why. However, for the sake of the carpool (damn, I enjoy riding for 90 minutes each way 4 days a week instead of driving), I just bit my tongue knowing this wasn’t the time or place.

After work, without any prompting from me, he started his conversation with “Doug, I’m sorry, I was an insensitive prick this morning. I’m sure you have strong opinions on the subject, and I’m sure they’re very different than mine. The way I acted has been bugging me all day. Can you forgive my outburst?”

WOW … no excuses, no arguing. We even had a -civil- conversation about some of the finer points of the argument. I won’t say I convinced him, but he did go home thinking. And … the apology … the real thing all the way.

That would be my -most memorable-

By: tommyboy

tommyboy — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 00:39:53 +0000

Linda, thanks for the segue. My father-in-law gets away with this one way too often, “To the degree that I can apologize, I’m sorry.” He might as well say “screw you,” but people eat it up!

By: lindacopy

lindacopy — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 22:14:19 +0000

Apologies that take no responsibility are the worst. “I’m sorry that you got upset” or “I’m sorry that we had a fight” instead of owning up to the fact that you hurt someone. Just say “I’m sorry that I was a jerk!” I’ll take that one anytime!

By: terry

terry — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 19:05:06 +0000

That so did not happen? You are making this up? Right? My jaw dropped to the ground.

Man what planet is she from?????

No apology could be worse than that!

By: Lucky me

Lucky me — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 16:53:00 +0000

I’m happy to be your beard, my dear.

By: Elizabeth @ Life in Pencil

Elizabeth @ Life in Pencil — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 15:22:00 +0000

Oh. My. God. That is appalling. I have no good apology stories to share, but I just had to say that. In fact, I’ll say it again. Oh. My. God.

By: Walking In My Sleep

Walking In My Sleep — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 15:19:04 +0000

This woman may be rich, but she’s about as ignorant as it comes. What would she have said had she thought you were Black, Hispanic or Asian?

OK, most appauling apology ever? When my brother, who has railed at me the eve of my mother’s death about being a Mavrick (and he didnt’ mean that in a positive way) and then the next morning says, “Let’s just put this behind us.”

NOT!

By: M0therAdm1n

M0therAdm1n — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 15:16:30 +0000

Eek. That is awful. The most horrifying thing is that leona has no idea how horrifying she is. I can’t top that story but oen thing that drives me nuts is when someone (often a spouse) offers an apology begrudgingly or angrily. I’M SORRY! spat vindictively at someone is almost worse than no apology at all because they think they get credit for the apology when they clearly didnt mean it. (I too have been guilty of the insincere apology). But I don’t let anyone (kids or husband) get away with this under any circumstance.