Comments on: Burning Down the House

By: Steftac

Steftac — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 00:54:51 +0000

So perhaps your best post ( do I say that EVERY time??) but also your deepest ( for me that is ) to date.
The D word ( divorce). There are really very few upsides to the whole cesspool that is housed in the minutia of divorce. Kids , they suffer. I suffered, we all suffered, even the dog (all 12 pounds of her) suffered. But the seedlings of our new life gave way for fresh growth, mainly mine, as I had to start to let go a bit in the name of survival. I say its our “new normal” but there is nothing new about good old fashioned team work and pitching in. Read Angela’s Ashes.. you will be sharply reminded that children in by gone eras actually were accountable for keeping the family structure functional. Not that I want to have my kids wearing the same pair of soiled undergarments for days and days until we can get enough coal to heat the water on wash day. But a little ” man up ” was a healthy addition to our new lives, in which mom is the sole in house adult. The “new” is now gone from our “normal”, we all have our jobs and chores and the complaining never stops ( mine again). But there is a blush that I feel rising to my cheeks every time a kid in my home does a load of clothes or puts the dishes in the washer.This weekend marks a first time late night babysitting that we have been mentally prepping for (for a month we have been prepping for). I dont want my kids to be handicapped by the inability to thrive on their own, let alone survive.I guess there is a middle place we need to get to. Somewhere between hanging out the wash and playing Xbox until your eyes fall out we have lost the reason and the right of passage, along with all of the lessons learned that make a boy ( or girl ) a real man (woman). The kind of man that can make damn good eggs… and enjoy em alone.

By: ThisIsPIlates

ThisIsPIlates — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 12:01:26 +0000

Go Em! Good for you!

By: jennifer

jennifer — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 02:34:08 +0000

Ah yes, we are still working on this! So many adult tasks to teach, so little time. Cooking and laundry are great ones to start with.

By: rjga13

rjga13 — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 18:08:54 +0000

It was actually sleep away camp that made me realize my kids were ready for more responsibility. Do you know they sweep and scrub toilets there? They also sort their dirty laundry and put away the clean stuff. I figured if they do it there, they can do it here. They also have dog walking duties, even when it is dark – which was hard for me.

Thanks for reminding me that it is time for another step!

By: Well Read Hostess

Well Read Hostess — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 17:07:51 +0000

Nurtureshock, Po Bronson.

http://www.amazon.com/NurtureShock-New-Thinking-About-Children/dp/0446504130/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1299690430&sr=8-1

By: Celina

Celina — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 16:37:54 +0000

Oh no you mean that someday I am going to have to allow my daughter those things too? So terrifying! Good reminder on letting go, thank you.