Dave took the boys up to visit his family in Rhode Island this week, leaving me behind to get some rest. Offers to have dinner with members of my family immediately flooded in, which I happily accepted. I’m still a little out of it. I was at Mom’s for the last two nights for food.

And somehow a quiet dinner of salmon burgers and corn on the cob turned into our own version of ER! We all know that slicing your hand open while trying to cut a bagel is one of the most common injuries, right? Well, Mom put her own unique spin on this familiar theme by slicing her finger open while trying to separate conjoined frozen twin salmon patties. Overachiever.

You hear about those people who under extreme duress can lift a huge car off of an injured family member? Well, that wasn’t me. But her injury did take my mind off my own little incisions for the evening. I sprang into action, unlocking the mini-van and driving her to our local emergency room. Our friend Cynie came too. It was a party. I even made the ambulance sounds as we headed down the driveway. I wanted to give her “3 liters of D5W and transport as soon as possible!” But I figured medicine has come a long way since Emergency 51. And I never knew what D5W was anyway.

For the record, Mom was really hoping that the first time she appeared in an MoB photo, she would be at some event “looking her best”. The truth is my Mom always looks her best, even when she isn’t trying. Even when she tries to cut her finger off.


People around here tend to favor the larger hospital emergency rooms because they are most equipped to handle well, emergencies. They also are equipped to make you wait for hours. I prefer the small community hospital emergency rooms for any triaging that doesn’t require an IV of D5W.

And I was right. It only took an hour (or so) and we had the coolest P.A. – Kate Berman – who stitched Mom up with expert skill. She had a wicked sense of humor to boot.

Mom: (on learning that she had to get a tetanus shot): A tetanus shot? Isn’t that painful?

Kate: (deadpan) Not as painful as tetanus.

As a brief aside, we did find out that Kate is currently single and is looking for a guy who will help train a dog. She is way cute – and can do the Zoolander Blue Steel and Magnum pose really well. These are the kinds of conversations that go on in the ER between health care providers and family members who are snapping pictures of their kin’s pain and humiliation to post on their blog.

You know, earlier in the day yesterday, before our little drama, I remarked to my Mom that I didn’t have any particular topic to blog on today.

“Don’t worry,” she said. “Something will come up.”


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