Comments on: My Son, The Failure http://mothersofbrothers.com/my-son-the-failure/ All about life with boys...and life in general Sat, 21 Dec 2019 17:09:13 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: carohope http://mothersofbrothers.com/my-son-the-failure/comment-page-1/#comment-5914 carohope Wed, 27 Jan 2010 16:13:32 +0000 http://mothersofbrothers.com/?p=1595#comment-5914 I hate to add a darker note to these responses. It just gets so much harder. Just this morning I was thinking how hard it is to have the child who doesn't cut it for the "honors" classes or the "travel teams," and how hard it is for them to deal with it. You know not everyone has a child who "shines" in something -- I guess it can take some kids a long time to find what it is that they are going to be really good in. For a kid to be mediocre in one thing after the other when you get to the more competitive years -- which middle school and high school are --is tough on everyone. All I can say is everyone will still have to accept failures in their children, unless all other kids but mine are superstars, so keep practicing. I hate to add a darker note to these responses. It just gets so much harder. Just this morning I was thinking how hard it is to have the child who doesn’t cut it for the “honors” classes or the “travel teams,” and how hard it is for them to deal with it. You know not everyone has a child who “shines” in something — I guess it can take some kids a long time to find what it is that they are going to be really good in. For a kid to be mediocre in one thing after the other when you get to the more competitive years — which middle school and high school are –is tough on everyone. All I can say is everyone will still have to accept failures in their children, unless all other kids but mine are superstars, so keep practicing.

]]> By: Nikki Benner http://mothersofbrothers.com/my-son-the-failure/comment-page-1/#comment-5912 Nikki Benner Wed, 27 Jan 2010 15:54:05 +0000 http://mothersofbrothers.com/?p=1595#comment-5912 As a new mom (Jackson's not even 10months old yet) this is a lesson I'm taking to heart to apply at a later date. I'm in the process of interviewing, and am often asked as much about my successes as about how I've handled my failures. I have learned much more from my lack of success than I have from my failures... I'm hoping I can remember that when it's Jackson's turn... As a new mom (Jackson’s not even 10months old yet) this is a lesson I’m taking to heart to apply at a later date. I’m in the process of interviewing, and am often asked as much about my successes as about how I’ve handled my failures. I have learned much more from my lack of success than I have from my failures… I’m hoping I can remember that when it’s Jackson’s turn…

]]> By: Caryn Berman http://mothersofbrothers.com/my-son-the-failure/comment-page-1/#comment-5907 Caryn Berman Wed, 27 Jan 2010 13:04:19 +0000 http://mothersofbrothers.com/?p=1595#comment-5907 loved this emily. how right you are. i always tell me fourth grader that i am so much more proud of how he handles a situation and tries his best than i am over a vicory. as you said, those are where the lessons are learned. like you, i have waited numerous times for the quivering lip and waterfalls - always prepared for the worst but happily surprised when the tears don't fall. have a great day. caryn loved this emily. how right you are. i always tell me fourth grader that i am so much more proud of how he handles a situation and tries his best than i am over a vicory. as you said, those are where the lessons are learned. like you, i have waited numerous times for the quivering lip and waterfalls – always prepared for the worst but happily surprised when the tears don’t fall. have a great day.
caryn

]]> By: rjga http://mothersofbrothers.com/my-son-the-failure/comment-page-1/#comment-5906 rjga Wed, 27 Jan 2010 12:38:48 +0000 http://mothersofbrothers.com/?p=1595#comment-5906 I am constantly reminded that our kids are WAY stronger than we give them credit for. As they get older - they don't need us to fix it, just to listen to them. I am constantly reminded that our kids are WAY stronger than we give them credit for. As they get older – they don’t need us to fix it, just to listen to them.

]]> By: goofdad http://mothersofbrothers.com/my-son-the-failure/comment-page-1/#comment-5900 goofdad Tue, 26 Jan 2010 21:08:15 +0000 http://mothersofbrothers.com/?p=1595#comment-5900 Congratulations to your son on accepting defeat. As a scout leader pinewood derby is always my least favorite event, because someone always loses, and almost always the boy takes it really, really hard. How we stand up to failure is much more a measure of maturity than how we take success. Success is easy. Kudos to your son, and to you for raising him! Congratulations to your son on accepting defeat. As a scout leader pinewood derby is always my least favorite event, because someone always loses, and almost always the boy takes it really, really hard.
How we stand up to failure is much more a measure of maturity than how we take success. Success is easy.
Kudos to your son, and to you for raising him!

]]> By: Anne http://mothersofbrothers.com/my-son-the-failure/comment-page-1/#comment-5898 Anne Tue, 26 Jan 2010 19:45:16 +0000 http://mothersofbrothers.com/?p=1595#comment-5898 Wow....what great examples of how we can stand to learn from our children...as much as they learn from us sometimes. Wow….what great examples of how we can stand to learn from our children…as much as they learn from us sometimes.

]]> By: Kristen @ Motherese http://mothersofbrothers.com/my-son-the-failure/comment-page-1/#comment-5897 Kristen @ Motherese Tue, 26 Jan 2010 19:35:10 +0000 http://mothersofbrothers.com/?p=1595#comment-5897 His loss was your lesson and now your lesson is my lesson - and a reminder I very much need. I hate to see my son fail. I know in my gut that every time I prop him up when he starts to lean, I make it that much less likely that he'll ever manage to stand up straight on his own. But, man, is it hard to remember that sometimes! His loss was your lesson and now your lesson is my lesson – and a reminder I very much need. I hate to see my son fail. I know in my gut that every time I prop him up when he starts to lean, I make it that much less likely that he’ll ever manage to stand up straight on his own. But, man, is it hard to remember that sometimes!

]]> By: terry http://mothersofbrothers.com/my-son-the-failure/comment-page-1/#comment-5896 terry Tue, 26 Jan 2010 19:07:55 +0000 http://mothersofbrothers.com/?p=1595#comment-5896 Emily: I just posted and then turned to your BLOG and got a good laugh. Sorry! Looking back it is just so darn funny. FIVE POINTS OMG! He'll never get into a GOOD COLLEGE! His life is over. And it's all your fault. My biggest mistake has been fixing all Kyle's mistakes. I should have been more like your husband. It's so strange because I'm not like this at all with my youngest. He just gets it done and I never bug him. If he messes up, he figures it out. He knows how to self advocate and loves to learn. I was on Kyle like a hawk...and I'm still on him! He has an AP US HISTORY test tomorrow. Does he know the material...this year it really counts. I think we want our kids to come away from their young years with their self esteem in tact and choices. It's just hard to know our role! Learn from your OLD FRIEND and take it all in stride. You are doing great. Emily: I just posted and then turned to your BLOG and got a good laugh. Sorry! Looking back it is just so darn funny. FIVE POINTS OMG! He’ll never get into a GOOD COLLEGE! His life is over.

And it’s all your fault.

My biggest mistake has been fixing all Kyle’s mistakes. I should have been more like your husband.

It’s so strange because I’m not like this at all with my youngest. He just gets it done and I never bug him. If he messes up, he figures it out. He knows how to self advocate and loves to learn.

I was on Kyle like a hawk…and I’m still on him! He has an AP US HISTORY test tomorrow. Does he know the material…this year it really counts.

I think we want our kids to come away from their young years with their self esteem in tact and choices. It’s just hard to know our role! Learn from your OLD FRIEND and take it all in stride. You are doing great.

]]> By: Geoffo http://mothersofbrothers.com/my-son-the-failure/comment-page-1/#comment-5895 Geoffo Tue, 26 Jan 2010 18:21:49 +0000 http://mothersofbrothers.com/?p=1595#comment-5895 Post some pictures of The Dream! Pinewood derby memory: although I and every other kid spent hours shaping and sanding for optimal aerodynamics, the kid who won raced a solid, unpainted block of wood with the wheels nailed on. Post some pictures of The Dream!

Pinewood derby memory: although I and every other kid spent hours shaping and sanding for optimal aerodynamics, the kid who won raced a solid, unpainted block of wood with the wheels nailed on.

]]> By: Elizabeth http://mothersofbrothers.com/my-son-the-failure/comment-page-1/#comment-5894 Elizabeth Tue, 26 Jan 2010 15:55:11 +0000 http://mothersofbrothers.com/?p=1595#comment-5894 From the mouth of babes...I'm always amazed by what we have to learn from kids, how much more resilient they tend to be than us adults. I'm sure it's difficult for such a successful person like you to stand by and watch your kid fail, but as you said, it IS so important. When I worked in a university setting, I met so many kids who were absolute nervous wrecks because they had never failed at anything. They were SO AFRAID of making a bad choice. From the mouth of babes…I’m always amazed by what we have to learn from kids, how much more resilient they tend to be than us adults. I’m sure it’s difficult for such a successful person like you to stand by and watch your kid fail, but as you said, it IS so important. When I worked in a university setting, I met so many kids who were absolute nervous wrecks because they had never failed at anything. They were SO AFRAID of making a bad choice.

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