Comments on: Popping the big question

By: jennifer

jennifer — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 13:46:32 +0000

Beverly, it’s so wonderful that the third generation in your family has achieved self-image health and happiness. Fantastic! I had one thin grandma and one fat one. All we knew as kids was that the fat one provided a cozier lap for snuggling and reading.

And your point about being alive and healthy and ambulatory is of course the most important blessing. My friends who are in wheelchairs (yes, plural!) would like nothing more than to be able-bodied, even if that meant not having the perfect shape. It’s hard to keep that in mind all the time.

By: Beverly

Beverly — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 03:43:18 +0000

As the daughter of a bulimic ballerina, I have always considered myself fat. When I was in my 20′s, 5’7″, 120lbs I was still fat. My thighs were huge and my mother was having professional photos taken of herself because she was so proud of the body she had in her 50′s.
I look at my beautiful daughter who is both shorter and weighs more than I did at her age an I am in wonder of her perfect body. She knows she looks good, but she is not conceted about it. She is comfortable with her curves.
I know now that she and I come from different stock than the skinny blondes (Like you, Jennifer) I once went to a weight watcher’s meeting and was asked how I would like to see myself. I answered seriously: “gaunt”. Would have killed for those hip bones!
I have a “fat” scar attached to my person. I will always be fat no matter what I weigh.
I am so greatful that my daughter enjoys living in her body and I am trying to learn from her, but I think of all those truly thin years I wasted feeling fat.
Now, I am greatful that I have two legs to take me where I want to go, I am reasonably healthy, and even with a few extra lbs, I can do what I want.
If someone asks me If I’ve lost weight, I usualy say, “I don’t know, It’s probably just the way my clothes look. I am afraid of scales and if it doesn’t say 120, I know I’m too fat and that just makes me hungry!

By: penrise

penrise — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 01:20:45 +0000

but it’s better than being asked “are you expecting again??” which as you know I was asked on several occasions–once at your house!–when I was the age where I could potentially be.

But frankly, I don’t mind the question at all. I find it pleasing, actually!

By: lindacopy

lindacopy — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 17:39:21 +0000

Not sure on this one. I think most of us think of our “real” selves as whatever our best weight and shape was — no matter what age we were when we achieved it! That is always our ideal that we’re trying to get back to. I don’t think it always correlates to how we were during childhood. Great topic, though.

By: Emily

Emily — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 17:18:37 +0000

I honestly dont mind the “have you lost weight” query – if I have. Because I usually have to work hard at it so having someone actually notice feels good. But sometimes I get the same query when I havent lost weight — and perhaps am feeling like I should. This is always tough because the answer is no… and if I comment any further along the lines of “and I really need to” I risk sounding like one of “those” women who always consider themselves too fat. And I am not one of those women.

I agree with your body image theory. I always consider myself athletic — and have a distorted body image in that I think of myself as skinnier than I actually am. And then I will see a picture and realize that I am no longer a 10 year old gymnast. Sigh.

By: Lindsay

Lindsay — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 16:08:05 +0000

I agree with the body image in formative years which is why it is still shocking to me that my Tiburon friends know me as the 30-40lb heavier Size 12-14 that I have been for a decade. Don’t they know I used to have a good body! That is another reason we need good, long term friends like you-you presumably also remember me as my thinner self as I do you!!!