Comments on: She Said, He Said

By: Kim Shimer

Kim Shimer — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 13:12:04 +0000

All I can say is “I’m this boat with you.” Not fun to fight with them. All day yesterday I couldn’t wait to get home and actually apologize to Ian for something I did wrong. Go figure. It’ll be the topic of my next post.

By: Beth

Beth — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 01:05:17 +0000

I’m a big believer in “natural consequences.” I’m wondering what’s the risk in NOT nagging Noah to do his homework? If he procrastinates, he may find that it gets too late for him to complete his homework, leading to a low grade. Or he may have to stay up late to get the homework done and feel exhausted the next morning when it’s time to get up for school. And the best part is…you’re not responsible for any of the consequences because Noah was in control of the choices he made. A low grade or an exhausted child is not a reflection on you as a parent…it’s a reflection of the poor choice made by the child. As a parent, it’s hard to watch our kids learn some of these things “the hard way”…but experience can be a tremendous teacher, and so I think we should allow our kids the opportunity to learn from it.

By: rjga13

rjga13 — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 19:15:29 +0000

My only insight (if that is what you call it) is that my own mother totally caved every time we had one of these battles when I was in my adolescence. She was very worried that I would hate her forever. It was great for me. But honestly, I lost a lot respect for her authority. And college was harder than it should have been b/c I had no study skills or fortitude for those hard times. I was so good at procrastinating and felt no worry about disappointing her.

I kept this in mind when my son was going through the “troubles”. I tried to be fair and honest, but never caved. Though I did lose some battles. Jeremy is almost 15 and these battles have ended (for now anyway).

So who has the advantage? I think that while this battle has ended, the war will rage on. The goal here is to raise a responsible adult.

By: jennifer

jennifer — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 17:05:09 +0000

This is a total side note but I like your use of business jargon in describing family scenes: core competency. Reminds me of how Lindsay, who is also in the financial industry, used to say, for example, that she might see someone “once a quarter” and I had to remind her that the rest of us all used this things called “seasons” as our frames of reference!

By: terry

terry — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 16:51:25 +0000

Sounds like a lovely Sunday! I have been having a few of these days myself around the old homestead.

Sometimes you feel like you are at such a loss. You don’t know where to turn. As Kyle gets older, I realized my ability to control him and situations becomes less. And this is as it should be. But sometimes I don’t think he is mature enough to take on what he takes on.

Then I start to feel like our relationship is in jeopardy..and this totally freaks me out.

Sounds like you did all the right things. ANd those nails seem like a real super power!