Comments on: Nurture Shock

By: cagey

cagey — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 15:10:55 +0000

I loved, LOVED this book. I thought the chapter on Lying was particularly helpful and it has really changed how I communicate with my son. For example, I think as parents, it is too easy to put off children’s requests with a “maybe”. Now? I am honest if we are not able to do something later in the day.

Geez. Instead of silly books like What to Expect When You’re Expecting, I wish new parents would be handed books like Nurture Shock and Our Babies Ourselves and The Science of Parenting. Books that are actually USEFUL in parenting.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 14:02:25 +0000

I am so happy happy happy to read this post. I heard Po Bronson on NPR sometime in the fall and actually pulled out pen and paper to jot down a few of the things he was saying. I never did go out and get the book though, because of course life (and my boys) kind of helped me forget. So thank you SO MUCH for the reminder!

“E for effort, people, not E for existing.” — I Agree with this 100%. Everyone wants to be their kids’ best friend. Is worried about how they “feel” all the time. Get over it and get on, I say. Kids rebound better than adults any day of the week. Time for them to live in reality, not fantasy.

By: Karen

Karen — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 01:07:44 +0000

Jennifer,

You are such a readable writer. Your words are eloquent, yet easily digestible, your sentences flow, your content shows thoughtfulness. . .

Does hearing that cause you to feel less motivated??

I don’t know if it was different in my family than in other families, but us kids of the 60s-70s weren’t heaped with lots of praise by our parents– I was supposed to work hard and do my best, and if I wasn’t successful, I was expected to work a little harder. I often kind of wished for a little of that unconditional praise which wasn’t showered on me very often.

(BTW, I’m not parent-bashing by any means!)

Don’t you think that a lot of the child-rearing philosophies are cyclical? I was raised with pretty strict guidelines, then I was much more lenient with my kids, and now my oldest daughter says she’s going to be a much stricter mom than I have been.

I’m wondering about that sibling-relationship, also. I guess I need to read the book — but I think that premise of the child’s relationship with his best friend would only apply if there was quite an age difference between the siblings. If the brothers/sisters are close in age, they are going to form those relationships ever before they have a “best” friend, don’t you think?

Anyway, I love reading your posts!!!
K.

By: terry

terry — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 19:11:06 +0000

On my way to the book store right now! Need this book. Sounds great.
Thanks

By: MemeGRL

MemeGRL — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 18:40:40 +0000

Totally with Skelly on the Olympics! I miss my mom so much while watching them but I do feel closer to her.
But I’m struggling with the “best friend” theory of sibling relationships. My oldest was only 22 months at the time his brother was born and not really legitimately “friends” with anyone yet! But he did play well with others…except his brother. Of course.
Can’t wait to read it. That, and Siblings Without Rivalry, which sounds like a beautiful dream at this point!

By: kim shimer

kim shimer — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 17:45:55 +0000

I’ll be needing this one!

By: Gale

Gale — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 17:18:56 +0000

Thanks so much for the recommendation. I love these types of books and also find most parenting books droll. I’ll be sure to go find a copy!

By: skellie

skellie — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 17:13:56 +0000

Best piece of advice about quieting a miserable infant was from an aquaintance who instructed me in the correct technique for swaddling, and then followed up with a phone call, instructing me to not be afraid to do it tighter. My daughter finally found peace.
And that same daughter and I are currently obsessed with a 1000 piece pink peony puzzle as the guys have become hooked on watching curling! YOUR CHILDREN WILL REMEMBER WATCHING THE OLYMPICS WITH YOU! I’LL NEVER FORGET MY FATHER GROANING ABOUT DICK BUTTON, AND DAD DIED OVER 20 YEARS AGO!

By: Elizabeth @ Life in Pencil

Elizabeth @ Life in Pencil — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 15:10:24 +0000

I can’t weigh in on parenting books YET (give it a few years), but this sounds great. And very reasonable. I’ve always been of the school of thought that this generation is way over-praised. I’m currently in the market for books on getting babies to sleep — everyone seems to have an opinion and school of thought on this. Gretchen Rubin, author of “The Happiness Project,” raves about “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen for Kids Will Talk,” by Adele Faber. She says it’s the only book you ever need.

By: Walking In My Sleep

Walking In My Sleep — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 14:47:08 +0000

Great recommendation, Jen. I’m off to the bookstore! And my radar is up for the new show by Brian Grazer and Ron Howard called Parenthood. Sounds intriguing.