Comments on: The Real Tunnel of Darkness https://mothersofbrothers.com/the-real-tunnel-of-darkness/ All about life with boys...and life in general Sat, 21 Dec 2019 17:09:13 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Kristen @ Motherese https://mothersofbrothers.com/the-real-tunnel-of-darkness/comment-page-1/#comment-7254 Kristen @ Motherese Sun, 18 Apr 2010 00:38:03 +0000 http://mothersofbrothers.com/?p=2287#comment-7254 This is such a beautifully written post, Emily. I still remember exactly where I was standing the first (and only, I think) time I cursed at my mother. It was as if someone pushed the pause button and the rest of the scene unfolded frame-by-frame: her deflated expression, my fighting back the tears while trying to maintain a defiant face. I was no good at being a rebellious teenager, but I felt like I had to try it out. I was recently bemoaning my plight (i.e. being driven periodically nuts by a baby and a toddler) to a friend with two teenagers. After listening to her for awhile, I realized: it doesn't get easier, it just gets a different kind of hard. I'm so sorry you're in the middle of your own particular brand of hard right now. This is such a beautifully written post, Emily.

I still remember exactly where I was standing the first (and only, I think) time I cursed at my mother. It was as if someone pushed the pause button and the rest of the scene unfolded frame-by-frame: her deflated expression, my fighting back the tears while trying to maintain a defiant face. I was no good at being a rebellious teenager, but I felt like I had to try it out.

I was recently bemoaning my plight (i.e. being driven periodically nuts by a baby and a toddler) to a friend with two teenagers. After listening to her for awhile, I realized: it doesn’t get easier, it just gets a different kind of hard.

I’m so sorry you’re in the middle of your own particular brand of hard right now.

]]> By: becky https://mothersofbrothers.com/the-real-tunnel-of-darkness/comment-page-1/#comment-7215 becky Wed, 14 Apr 2010 19:36:52 +0000 http://mothersofbrothers.com/?p=2287#comment-7215 Great writing. It made me so sad, though. Because right now, my son is 2 1/2, the sweetest thing you ever want to meet, and thinks his mommy hung the moon. It would break my heart to hear him talk to me like that. I don't know if I'd immediately be furious, or deeply hurt. We had a really rough time w/my daughter's teenage years. I hope we don't have the same with him. It's too early to dread it, of course, but I do not look forward to him pulling away. I know it's necessary. A part of things. But I am so not ready for that. Great writing. It made me so sad, though. Because right now, my son is 2 1/2, the sweetest thing you ever want to meet, and thinks his mommy hung the moon. It would break my heart to hear him talk to me like that. I don’t know if I’d immediately be furious, or deeply hurt. We had a really rough time w/my daughter’s teenage years. I hope we don’t have the same with him. It’s too early to dread it, of course, but I do not look forward to him pulling away. I know it’s necessary. A part of things. But I am so not ready for that.

]]> By: Liz https://mothersofbrothers.com/the-real-tunnel-of-darkness/comment-page-1/#comment-7208 Liz Wed, 14 Apr 2010 01:43:28 +0000 http://mothersofbrothers.com/?p=2287#comment-7208 Wow, Em. Amazing piece. Keep writing!! What a gift you have. Like Mo, I also loved the "conversation" around this piece. Goofdad's advice resounded with me - making our children our business, no matter what the cost or battle - though, yes, we do have to pick our battles. That's what I have trouble with - it's hard for me to let some go. Good for you to have reacted with a bigger/more understanding perspective, rather than just reacting-often my mistake! Wow, Em. Amazing piece. Keep writing!! What a gift you have.
Like Mo, I also loved the “conversation” around this piece. Goofdad’s advice resounded with me – making our children our business, no matter what the cost or battle – though, yes, we do have to pick our battles. That’s what I have trouble with – it’s hard for me to let some go. Good for you to have reacted with a bigger/more understanding perspective, rather than just reacting-often my mistake!

]]> By: RuthWells https://mothersofbrothers.com/the-real-tunnel-of-darkness/comment-page-1/#comment-7196 RuthWells Fri, 09 Apr 2010 13:58:23 +0000 http://mothersofbrothers.com/?p=2287#comment-7196 Oh honey. Beautifully expressed. And you're scaring the pants off me, of course, because we're headed into that tunnel ourselves.... Oh honey. Beautifully expressed. And you’re scaring the pants off me, of course, because we’re headed into that tunnel ourselves….

]]> By: terry https://mothersofbrothers.com/the-real-tunnel-of-darkness/comment-page-1/#comment-7188 terry Fri, 09 Apr 2010 02:07:17 +0000 http://mothersofbrothers.com/?p=2287#comment-7188 Oh my I have missed you. I love this piece. The tunnel of darkness. Boy I was trapped in that tunnel last night. Today the entire family had a mental health day, I mean everyone stopped school and work and we took the day off and spent it in San Francisco. I get that tunnel. It's a slippery son of B. Pick your battles and the reasons for those battles. Disrespect always is a problem for me. If one of my kids says the F word and it is not directed at me, I don't mind so much. But if it is directed at me, look out! Kisses Oh my I have missed you. I love this piece. The tunnel of darkness. Boy I was trapped in that tunnel last night. Today the entire family had a mental health day, I mean everyone stopped school and work and we took the day off and spent it in San Francisco.

I get that tunnel. It’s a slippery son of B. Pick your battles and the reasons for those battles. Disrespect always is a problem for me. If one of my kids says the F word and it is not directed at me, I don’t mind so much. But if it is directed at me, look out!

Kisses

]]> By: skellie https://mothersofbrothers.com/the-real-tunnel-of-darkness/comment-page-1/#comment-7185 skellie Fri, 09 Apr 2010 00:30:41 +0000 http://mothersofbrothers.com/?p=2287#comment-7185 Here's how a single mom I know handled it. She subtracted $25 from her daughter's monthly allowance when she was in college. By that time she was WAY over the initial shock and hurt. It's the old hit 'em in the wallet! Here’s how a single mom I know handled it. She subtracted $25 from her daughter’s monthly allowance when she was in college. By that time she was WAY over the initial shock and hurt. It’s the old hit ‘em in the wallet!

]]> By: Mo https://mothersofbrothers.com/the-real-tunnel-of-darkness/comment-page-1/#comment-7180 Mo Thu, 08 Apr 2010 19:27:46 +0000 http://mothersofbrothers.com/?p=2287#comment-7180 I have enjoyed the conversation about this post almost as much as the story itself. Goofdad's advice is so well put and I will keep it in mind as I get closer to that next phase of parenting. This morning GMA, reported on the "drug of choice" for 12-yr-olds: sniffing - - pretty much anything they can get their noses into (glue, nail polish remover. . .gasoline!). Yikes! I have enjoyed the conversation about this post almost as much as the story itself. Goofdad’s advice is so well put and I will keep it in mind as I get closer to that next phase of parenting. This morning GMA, reported on the “drug of choice” for 12-yr-olds: sniffing – - pretty much anything they can get their noses into (glue, nail polish remover. . .gasoline!). Yikes!

]]> By: Emily https://mothersofbrothers.com/the-real-tunnel-of-darkness/comment-page-1/#comment-7178 Emily Thu, 08 Apr 2010 19:17:12 +0000 http://mothersofbrothers.com/?p=2287#comment-7178 You know Leslie - it was almost the "leave me alone" message that hurt more than the f-bomb. And yes, Taco is a totally different story. Nice. You know Leslie – it was almost the “leave me alone” message that hurt more than the f-bomb. And yes, Taco is a totally different story. Nice.

]]> By: lesliedr https://mothersofbrothers.com/the-real-tunnel-of-darkness/comment-page-1/#comment-7177 lesliedr Thu, 08 Apr 2010 18:57:34 +0000 http://mothersofbrothers.com/?p=2287#comment-7177 Oy, Em. First, the fact that you didn't do the automatic "hit the roof" is very cool. Not sure I could have done that. But it is an ability that will serve you well in the next few years. I didn't have swearing, but there's always some form of "leave me alone" that isn't pleasant to encounter. Just keep taking deep breaths. And, as an added bonus, whatever works with Noah may be useless when it comes to Taco, I mean Chase. Oy, Em. First, the fact that you didn’t do the automatic “hit the roof” is very cool. Not sure I could have done that. But it is an ability that will serve you well in the next few years. I didn’t have swearing, but there’s always some form of “leave me alone” that isn’t pleasant to encounter. Just keep taking deep breaths. And, as an added bonus, whatever works with Noah may be useless when it comes to Taco, I mean Chase.

]]> By: Emily https://mothersofbrothers.com/the-real-tunnel-of-darkness/comment-page-1/#comment-7176 Emily Thu, 08 Apr 2010 18:26:10 +0000 http://mothersofbrothers.com/?p=2287#comment-7176 Kim - You can, but he won't. One of the reasons that I know he has not turned into a complete juvenile delinquent is that he remains extremely respectful to most everyone BUT me (and Dave). And Ian would NEVER sya such things. He will be Noah's alibi for life. If ever questioned, all he has to do is say - he was with Ian and I will know that all is ok. Kim – You can, but he won’t. One of the reasons that I know he has not turned into a complete juvenile delinquent is that he remains extremely respectful to most everyone BUT me (and Dave). And Ian would NEVER sya such things. He will be Noah’s alibi for life. If ever questioned, all he has to do is say – he was with Ian and I will know that all is ok.

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