Comments on: The Whole Truth About Motherhood

By: MelanieO

MelanieO — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 20:00:51 +0000

Wow. You’ve captured so much of what I feel almost constantly…and I’m thrilled and relieved to know I’m not alone. Kudos for being brave enough to put it out there.

By: lesliedr

lesliedr — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 19:31:03 +0000

So here’s the real secret: feeling like a mom is something you are always trying to figure out. Whether they are gone for three hours at nursery school or seven hours at elementary school – or when they drive away from you at the wheel of a car (with the other child with them!!!) – or when they move out entirely – you are still the mother. How we fill that role, and how much time it takes out of our day, how much energy it takes out of us, how much your heart grows in the process, is different for each of us. What’s important is to recognize that we grow and change as mothers and as people, just as our children are growing and changing. I just finished a marvelous book about two sisters, “I See You Everywhere” that talks about the double helix between spouses and between siblings, and I think this applies equally to parents and children. Right now, I’m cleaning my attic (ten years after moving into this house on the ‘it’s a big attic’ theory) in anticipation of my 24 year old moving back home for some indeterminate amount of time, while he is packing up his apartment, calling with questions about how to pack various kinds of belongings – which will go into the attic. We make space for our kids, as it works for us, and as it works for them – mostly as it works for them. Just ask any woman who is pregnant right now!

By: Emily B

Emily B — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 18:36:42 +0000

Em,
This is very sweet! Just being able to put this into words makes you a wonderful Mom.
Emily B.

By: EastCoastSurfer

EastCoastSurfer — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 17:48:50 +0000

I think it feels very much what it feels like to be away at camp…homesick. For the first day or so, pick-up day seems an eternity away, you have a diminished appetite, time moves slowly and the down time is the worst…

The good news is that it goes away pretty quickly, life moves on and we all end up for the better! I look forward to tomorrow

By: lindacopy

lindacopy — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 17:44:13 +0000

Great insights!

By: rjga13

rjga13 — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 15:09:27 +0000

The first summer both kids went to camp, I found I still had to watch Nickelodeon or Disney channel to start my day. (Thankfully that ended quickly). While I missed them terribly, I felt like I was being such a good mom (so altruistic!) sending them since they loved it so much. It was really about them, not me – so motherly!

But now after so many years of summer camp, I realize that their being at camp is now about me. At 13 & 15, being at their constant beck and call is ending. With them at camp, I can practice for a time for when camp becomes college and beyond. While sometimes that makes me sad, I am more OK with it that I would have ever thought. I love the young adults my babies are becoming. It is like a reading a great book, you can’t wait to get to the next chapter. I know that there are many (G-d willing) chapters to come!

By: Elizabeth@Life in Pencil

Elizabeth@Life in Pencil — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 15:02:00 +0000

I love this, Emily. It needs to be published somewhere. I hate cliches, too, but you’ve managed to capture the complicated and complex emotions of motherhood. Preparing to become a mother in just five short weeks myself, I am constantly thinking about how the experience will change me. I love the line, “Becoming a parent doesn’t make you a whole person. It makes you a fraction of who you once were.”

By: kim s

kim s — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 14:47:27 +0000

“I question my casting the role of Mom mostly because there are days when I don’t want to be one. I fantasize about the things I would do if I wasn’t responsible for anyone but myself.” Emily, I felt like that 24-7 for about the first six years of motherhood. Luckily, now it only hits me about once a day.

By: Gale

Gale — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 14:41:46 +0000

Really touching post, Emily. My son isn’t even 2 and I know what you mean. I particularly love the idea that:

“Becoming a parent doesn’t make you a whole person. It makes you a fraction of who you once were. And you don’t realize it until the other half of you – your children – are missing.”

I hope that once the newness of the quiet house wears off you’re able to enjoy yourself a bit.

By: jennifer

jennifer — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 13:26:31 +0000

Your boys look so happy to be at camp! I know you’ll end up enjoying Camp Mojito too