Dear Camp H Counselors:
Today I am turning my children over to your care for the next 3 weeks and 6 days (This sounds better to me than a month.) I consider myself to be a sane individual, able to dispense prudent advice to other parents faced with fears similar to my own. Yet, when it comes to my own children, I admittedly lose a little perspective. This whole sleep away camp was my idea so if it goes well, I will take full credit; if it goes wrong, I will never forgive myself. No pressure.
I haven’t heard of a single bad experience at your camp which would suggest to a normal parent that I have nothing to worry about. However, I interpret this to mean that it’s statistically about time someone had a bad time and of course it will be my kids. I use the same logic when analyzing the fact that neither Noah nor Chase has been sick all summer (They are waiting until they get to camp to become deathly ill) or that the weather has been lovely for most of July. (It will rain for the ENTIRE time they are there.) I have tried my best to keep my fears hidden in that place in my mind that the boys can’t see, but to which I treat my husband to regular tours. The camp sent a letter encouraging parents to be positive with the kids. They didn’t say anything about what we do with husbands. Since Dave is not teaching in August, listening to his crazy wife is now his job. Or should we say unpaid internship? The next few weeks could end in our divorce… or a third child. It is a complete toss up. Stay tuned.
Anyway, I digress. There are a few things you should know about my boys. Noah is a creature of habit. He likes knowing what’s around the next corner. If he becomes nervous, he will ask you the same question more than once. He is cool kid but sensitive to bullies as he had a bad experience at day camp last summer. The last thing he wants to do is blow the whistle on someone so please keep an eye out for him as I will not be there to notice that his smile is forced and he is hurting inside. He is frightened of loud thunderstorms. Conversely, you will know all is well and he is having a great time when he performs his stand up routine which consists of incessantly repeating a series of YouTube parodies. Feel free to gently suggest he get some new material. We would appreciate that at home.
Chase is so happy go lucky that you might forget about him. He’s that easy. But if he feels he was wronged or a promise was broken, it’s hard for him to hold back the tears. He is very much a homebody so he could be the first to crack. He will try not to cry against all odds. Sometimes you just have to tell him it’s ok to let it out. And if you don’t understand a word he says, that’s ok. Some times we don’t either. Tell him to SLOW DOWN. And please make sure he drinks water during the day. When Chase gets dehydrated, he barfs, very well I might add. I’ve never seen a kid recover quite so quickly from the cookie toss. But I don’t recommend seeing this phenomenon yourself. Think of him as a delicate plant with a wicked sense of humor. Water often.
Listen. My boys are sweet kids who just want to have fun and be loved. And that is all I want for them. I know it’s asking a great deal of you to love my children for the next 3 weeks and 6 days. But since I am not allowed to come with them to camp can’t be there to love them, I’m asking you to take my place. Just don’t do it better than me. I want them to miss me a little. I realize to you they are just two campers among hundreds for whom you are responsible. But to me, they are everything.
Thanks for listening.
Sincerely,
Noah and Chase’s Mom
