Some MoB readers may perhaps be wondering how I did on my self-imposed “40 til 40″ fitness challenge which officially ended November 23. For those recently joining, I committed exactly 40 days before my 40th birthday to get off my a#@ and in some sort of shape.
Cut to the chase: I lost about 8 pounds, I’m working out 3 times a week at fitness boot camp, and I’m eating much better. All in all I would give myself a B+. I have by no means reached my final goal which is to have the body of a 25 year-old professional pole dancer but I figure I have to have SOMETHING to work towards for my 50th birthday. I hope to lose about 10 more pounds in the next 2-3 months so I can stand naked in front of my husband with confidence and say “You see! I told you only plastic surgery will fix this.”
At which point he will reply, “So go make an appointment.”
Fishing for compliments has never been one of my strong suits. Yet, I still always dream of catching the big one – the one where he takes me in his arms and tells me that I am perfect just the way I am and in fact, he loves the cottage cheese texture around my belly button and my smiley c-section scar. But alas, this is not meant to be in a houseful of boys. A few years ago, in a desperate moment of which I am not so proud, I actually sidled up to Chase who was innocently playing a video game and asked, “Do you think Mommy is pretty?” After carefully taking into account my fragile self worth he turned to me and said, “Well, when you dress up for work or a wedding or something like that, you’re kinda pretty. But right now, not so much.”
On the bright side, the fact the hubby and brothers don’t play my little game allows me continue to watch Extreme Makeover and Dr. 90210 and fantasize about someone cutting my stomach open, sucking out the insides, and sewing me back together so tight that even my toes look skinnier.
Ironically I think my reasons for avoiding plastic surgery are perhaps more self-absorbed than my reasons for proceeding with it:
1) People who get elective plastic surgery are shallow people who don’t understand that it’s what’s on the inside that counts. If I got my tummy tucked, I would be one of those shallow people.
2) While the TV reality show people always look 1000 times better after their surgery, I really haven’t seen a live tummy tuck patient in the flesh that looks all that different than they did before. I’m’ just sayin. If I’m going through all that pain, I better get my 21 year old stomach back.
3) There is always risk with surgery and God forbid something would happen to me, the story would be that I died having my tummy tucked. Tragic in so many ways beyond the obvious fact that I am dead.
There remains the outside chance that another 10 pounds will leave me very happy with tummy. I would like to wear a bikini this summer and not one where the bottom comes up over my belly button. Maybe if I go fishing in a bathing suit I’ll have more luck.
