On Friday, I asked my boss if he had any big plans for the weekend. He shared with me that it was his wife’s birthday and one of her presents was that she gets to take him shopping for clothes. I have always suspected these people were totally cool characters, but now I know for sure. Had I not been so fixated on trying to control my sophmoric giggles, I would have asked him for more specifics. Did he just have to accompany her or did he have to do it with a smile? How long did she have? Were there any restrictions on what he would be told to try on? Did he have any veto power or was it a dictatorial shopping trip with her as the queen? Could I come along, just for fun?
My boss always looks nice and inevitably when I compliment him on a shirt or tie he informs me that his wife bought it for him. Clearly it is something that she either enjoys doing – or perhaps she HAS to do because he could be one of those men who can’t match a pair of socks (I know – I gave birth to two of them.) Regardless, the conversation had my mind going all weekend because I realized that most men would never grant this birthday wish to their wives. Diamonds are easier and probably less expensive. So I think this is an untapped market for someone. I can picture it now:
From the makers of the American Girl Doll series comes…… The Suburban Husband Doll. It’s for wives of fashion-challenged and stubborn men everywhere. Each doll comes with a case full of hip clothes that match, are void of stains, and were not worn at any time when the doll was attending college in the 1980′s. Every month you have the option of buying more clothes for your precious doll, whose eyes are painted onto his head and thus are not able to roll back as you suggest he wear something with a collar when going out to dinner. Tired of seeing him in boxers for the last twenty years? No problem. The doll has no issues whatsoever switching to briefs. Think that shorts are inappropriate for an evening at the synagogue? He absolutely agrees and welcomes the khakis you have ready for him. And because the doll’s toes are soddered together, flip-flops are never an option. (Each doll also comes with his own personal story book about the hardships he has faced on the lawns, at the little league fields, and on those endless Saturday nights waiting for a table for four at Bertucci’s.)
I can only dress my real husband every so often before he starts rebel. But with the Suburban Husband Doll I can dress and re-dress him as much as I like with no repercussions. And why stop there? While we’re at it, why not make a doll for every other person we would like to dress but can’t because they wont let us?! Our tween boys! Our teenage girls! Who would you like to dress, MoB readers?
Only 158 shopping days until Christmas.
