Have you ever come into a little bit of money and, rather than appreciating it for the blessing that it is, you throw yourself into a complete tizzy about what to do with it?    Because for those of us who are not rolling in dough, there are always choices, right?  You could save it, spend it, gift it, or squander it.  A $100 Visa gift card will send me reeling into a state of indecision for weeks.  Spend it on myself?  The boys?  The house? Rainy day fund? Charity?   I become paralyzed by possibility.

Conventional wisdom suggests that in such a situation you save a third, spend a third, and give a third away.  Conventional wisdom is practical and morally just.  Conventional wisdom is not a fan of squandering.   And neither am I.

I fear squandering like others fear death and public speaking.

So as Dave and I kiss the boys goodbye tomorrow and send them off to four weeks of sleep away camp, the fear has already set in.

But this time, its not money I have been given but something so much more precious to me.  I have been given time.   Not much – but some.  And unlike money, I can’t save it.  It needs to be spent – or it will be, GULP, squandered.

For the next four weeks, I will have my evenings and weekends free.  I still  work my day job — but someone else will be feeding my children and tending to their needs.  And while this may sound like heaven to all you parents out there who have had it with their kids with more than a month to go before school, I’ll tell you that time goes really fast.  And there is tremendous pressure not to squander it.

These next 645 hours are my currency and I don’t want to blow them on Facebook.  Starting today, I am taking temporary leave of my life’s treadmill The Family – and I’m going to spend my gift of time exploring some different paths.

Family – Tomorrow Mom and I are taking off for a long weekend in Bermuda.  We both need to stick our feet in the sand and face the sun.  The time we spend always rejuvenates me – and it makes me happy when I beat her at cards.  I’m hoping to connect a few times in the coming weeks with my brother, sister and my Dad who I rarely speak to for longer than a few minutes here and there.

Book – It’s in my head.  I need to move it through my fingers and onto the keyboard.  I’m counting on my friends Meghan and Kim, both who have fantastic book proposals waiting to be written, to keep me company as we carve out ample time to write.

Hubby – The number of words Dave and I have exchanged in the last month that hasn’t involve household logistics or the boys is approximately …uh…… 12.  I’m looking forward to hearing about what he thinks about the debt ceiling.. the Republicans.. his training regimen.. life these days.  maybe, if Im lucky, he will still want to hear from me too.

Health – Last night, I ate my last burger (at least for a while).  I have been trying to get healthy in fits and starts over the last year.  Without the brothers to take to Dairy Queen, I have an opening to NOT GO TO DAIRY QUEEN.  Ten pounds by the time we pick the boys up.  And I hope to get enough running in that I do can think about a 10K in my future.

Blog – With Jessie well on board, Mothers of Brothers is ready for a remodeling and that takes some thought.  I am hoping to work with her to design something that pays tribute to our past but looks decidedly towards the future.  Coming soon… Mothers of Brothers … and Others.  Hey Jessie!  You ready for this???

Time and money are easily spent and easily wasted.  When you don’t have an abundance of either, you tend to be more mindful of these gifts.  Yet I can’t let this  opportunity paralyze me the way the Visa gift card does.  I don’t have that luxury.  When it comes to time, I’ve been impoverished this year and I’m ready to do some serious spending on things that matter most.

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