It started about three weeks ago in a casual way. Noah sweetly tells me that he wants to share something with me on the Internet. Can anything possibly good come of this? He sits me down and takes me to a page of water guns. Not just any water guns, but the kind for which I believe the NRA has a special lobbying division.

Mom! I need this one. THE ORCA.

Last year, he and his brother informed me that their “plain old” Super Soaker guns were grossly inadequate and we needed to purchase ARTIC BLAST guns, which I recall allowed you to load ice cubes into the chamber to freeze your enemies. At the time, I agreed to this Cold War because they really wanted to buy the COLOR SOAKER

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