As the East Coast MoB readers know, the weather this 4th of July weekend sucked. My family and I could have succumbed to multiple movies, the mall and indoor rock climbing. But Dave and I are weekend warriors. (And we know that three days of indoor family togetherness would put any Fox reality show to shame.) So we did not go gently into that rainy good night! We analyzed the Doppler forecast, saw endless cells of green, red, and yellow spread across the entire region, and packed the boys up for an impromptu road to Hershey Park!

Because even wet chocolate is still….. um….chocolate.

Besides, the boys had been trash talking roller coasters for weeks. Great Bear. Sidewinder. Fahrenheit. Storm Runner. All rides are conveniently illustrated on the Hershey Park website, which has been Noah and Chase’s landing page since Memorial Day. Oh yeah, baby, they were going on ALL of them.

Prior to leaving we discussed height requirements. Any parent of more than one sibling has had that awful moment when the youngest, despite stretching his neck as far as it will go, does not make the cut-off for the “best ride in the entire park”. Not only does he face the fact that his older brother gets to do something he doesn’t, but he has to take the “little guy walk of shame” back down the stairs or through the cattle shoots trying not to cry.

So we talked about whether Chase would make the Twizzler height which was 54″ and would get him onto certain “AGGRESSIVE THRILL RIDES”. Dave counseled him to stand up as tall as he could. I fretted and steeled myself for dealing with the tears.

Not Yet A Twizzler

He didn’t make it. And he fought really hard not to……smile.

It’s one thing to say you’re going to tame every roller coaster at Hershey Park – and another thing to actually have the balls guts to do it. Chase had an out. Noah didn’t need one – he took one look at the AGGRESSIVE THRILL RIDES and said “I’m having second thoughts,” which translates into NFW.

So we went on the calmer rides… like the Sooper Dooper Looper. Twice. As a child going to Hershey Park in the 1970′s the Sooper Dooper Looper was the BIG ONE. I had nightmares about it. There were t-shirts claiming that you survived it. Now it may as well be a freaking kiddie ride. Take a look at their newest coaster – Fahrenheit. This puppy has a 97 degree drop – yeah, that’s right. Going straight down is not enough. This coaster turns you upside down as you are falling.


It just makes me feel ancient. Despite years of competitive gymnastics which I was often upside down at such angles, I will never ride this ride. I can only imagine what Hershey will do to top this — so that years from now when Noah and Chase take their kids to Hershey Park they can call Fahrenheit tame. I can hear it now: “You know son, when I was a boy, they didn’t have roller coasters that ejected you. You stayed strapped in the entire time.”

Post script: It did not rain for a single minute while we were at the park. Because of the foreboding Doppler, there were no lines for the rides. We all got soaked together on Tidal Force and Canyon River Rapids. I screamed a lot which always makes Dave laugh. Both boys happily held my hand for longer than a moment. The park itself is immaculate – even the bathrooms. And, of course, there was chocolate.

Aggressively thrilling – Mommy style.

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