This week our grown-up bed arrives!  While I know for 99 percent of you, this proclamation conjures up memories of the childhood move from the crib to a real bed jury rigged with side bars, placed upon the floor, with pillows on every side so that it is actually safer than a crib,  our grown-up bed is for, uh, the grown-ups.

I am 41 years old and I have never owned bedroom furniture that wasn’t 1) my childhood furniture 2) handed down or 3) from Ikea.  It just hasn’t been a priority, okay???  For the last several years, our bedroom furniture has consisted of my parent’s bureaus and end tables which they inherited from my grandmother in the 1960’s (They split in 1979.  My parents, that is)  Now, the furniture is splitting, literally.  We also have a large, pea green dresser which I inherited from my grandmother which Dave completely hates.  (The dresser, that is.  I think he was fond of my grandmother.)  So suffice it to say that our bedroom is full of old, decrepit furniture from divorced and dead people.  I thought it was time for something fresh and new.  Just sayin’.

Notice Grandma's Headboard and My Parent's Nightstand

Notice Grandma's headboard and my parent's nightstand


Nothing says you need new furniture like missing hardware.

Nothing says you need new furniture like missing hardware.

Tomorrow, our shutter collection from Restoration Hardware will arrive.  Squeal!


I have to say I am most excited about having a grown-up bed with a grown-up headboard and frame.  Nothing screams “I am an adult!”  louder.  Now that the furniture is on the truck headed this way, I am flabbergasted that it has taken this long for us to grow up, especially considering we spend more time together in this bed than we do anywhere else.  Granted most of this time we are completely comatose but I am already anticipating better dreams because of the head board.

To make up for all the lost time when I didn’t care about our bed, I spent this past weekend pondering it.  And you know what?  There is a great deal to ponder when it comes to how you make your marital bed.  For instance:

King or Queen?  We have a King.  And I have always wondered whether it is a bad reflection on our marriage if I prefer to sleep as far away from my husband as the Sealy Posturpedic dimensions allow.  Do couples with Queens love each other more or do they just have less floor space?

Do you have an assigned side?  Of course you do!  I have never met a betrothed person who does not have assigned side so if you are in a committed relationship but can sleep on both sides, pipe up!  I would love to talk to you about that. Freak.

Do you share pillows or are those assigned as well?  Dave is particularly persnickety about his pillows.  If I accidentally place one on my side, he has been known to rip them from beneath my gentle head while I am in a deep slumber, sometime causing shaken wife syndrome.  I know.  I had it coming.

How about a TV?  We have one just two feet away from the foot of the bed and often watch at night which may be the reason half my dreams involve Jon Stewart.  Or maybe not.  Yet some couples think having a TV in the bedroom is equivalent to inviting an evil intruder to sleep with them.  After 15 years of marriage,  Dave and I kinda enjoy the extra company. 

Are children permitted?  I find that those couples that like TV also like kids in their bed.   We generally do, as long as they aren’t too squirmy.  Do your kids snuggle up with Mom or Dad first?   My guess is that it’s Mommy all the way.  That’s how we roll.  How about pets?  I have heard about large dogs sleeping in between a couple.  I don’t think I could do that.  Husband drool is bad enough.

How crappy is your mattress?  Do you have two deep canyons on either side which force you to put on climbing gear to roll upwards towards the middle just to make contact with your spouse?  Be careful, when you’re up on that summit, you better hold on or risk rolling all the way back down into your own person ravine.

So MoB readers, what makes your bed unique?  If you’re not sure, don’t comment right away.  Sleep on it and get back to us.
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