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I was super glad to see that Carrie Prejean was stripped of her Miss USA title this week.  Finally.  I found her abhorrent for a variety of reasons, the most obvious being her Neanderthal views on gay marriage.   I would love to get this tartletwoman in a room alone and ask her specifically how gay marriage threatens heterosexual marriage.  And when she didn’t actaully answer the question, I would ask her again.  And again.  And again.  And maybe she would cry and her face would melt off… 

Oh, was that a little snarky?  Perhaps.  But I feel there is absolutely no place in this world for this type of intolerance, unless of course we are talking about beauty queens of whom I’ve recently become COMPLETELY intolerant. 

I wonder if perhaps a federal ban on “beauty queen marriage” is in order?  I mean should someone who is so sinfully self-absorbed be permitted to unite in holy matrimony?  Don’t we have an obligation to save the world from these creepy mannequins?

In fact, I think as a country, the U.S. could do itself a great deal of good if we channeled ALL of our stereotypes and prejudices into one massive discrimination against… beauty queens.  After all, didn’t they CHOOSE to be beauty queens?  I’m sure those who really want to could change back into normal people and live normal lives, right?  By discriminating against beauty queens, we are actually SAVING them from themselves and helping them get back on the right path, the decent path, the path that most of us walk every day.

Not only should beauty queens not be allowed to marry but I also think we should send them to separate schools, coin disparaging nicknames to aim at people who may be acting a little vain, and by all means keep our children far, far away.

My boys, take careful note:  If you ever date or (God forbid) marry a beauty queen, you will be dead to me.   I would rather you be gay.

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