‘Twas the week before Hanukah
And my list was not written
I needed to find gifts
That would render my family smitten.
After wracking my brain
For more than an hour
I still had nothing in mind
And my mood turned quite dour.
When suddenly it came to me
I knew how to respond.
I would jump in the car and go
To Bed Bath and Beyond.
I quickly ran through the house
Without any fear
To collect my fifty coupons
From the last half a year
Most had expired
A long time ago
But B cubed has a policy
To never say no.
Around holiday time
It is best not to curse
But I did because all that cardboard
Wouldn’t fit in my purse.
Yet somehow I managed
To shove them all down
And took off happily to
The greatest impulse store around.
The choices are endless
The service is nice
Does it matter the gift
Will be used maybe twice?
A margarita machine, a candle
A warmer for brie
And LOOK – there’s the Sham Wow
That’s seen on TV!
Some wall art, a tea towel
A singing head for the shower
Can I sit in this massage chair
For another half hour?
A series of cooking utensils
That they say won’t dare slip.
A snuggie or blanket
For when it feels a bit nip.
And while browising for others
I cant help but see
1001 products
That are just right for me!
A travel size deodorant
When I go far from home
And an ugly brown box
That will hold my cell phone.
My cart is now full of stuff
Of all different shapes
Surely there’s room to bring home
Some new bedroom drapes.
So I went a bit overboard
There’s no need to scoff
My expired coupons
Mean 20 percent off!
I pull out all the cardboard
Aren’t discounts so great?
Even when the savings on something
Comes to $1.28
I take my place in line happily
With the rest of the gift haulers
Until I see I blew my budget
By two hundred dollars!
I my heart starts to beat quickly
I feel so insane
Was my brilliant shopping idea
Executed in vein?
I grab the Magic 8 ball
Atop of my cart
To see what divine wisdom
It has to impart.
Did I go too far with my impulses?
Did I overstep or transgress?
Shake Shake! It is clear
All signs point to YES.
So if you want to be frugal
And efficient this year
Shop online, use coupon codes
As for the store – just stay clear.
December 09, 2009
An Ode to Impulse Shopping
‘Twas the week before Hanukah
And my list was not written
I needed to find gifts
That would render my family smitten.
After wracking my brain
For more than an hour
I still had nothing in mind
And my mood turned quite dour.
When suddenly it came to me
I knew how to respond.
I would jump in the car and go
To Bed Bath and Beyond.
I quickly ran through the house
Without any fear
To collect my fifty coupons
From the last half a year
Most had expired
A long time ago
But B cubed has a policy
To never say no.
Around holiday time
It is best not to curse
But I did because all that cardboard
Wouldn’t fit in my purse.
Yet somehow I managed
To shove them all down
And took off happily to
The greatest impulse store around.
The choices are endless
The service is nice
Does it matter the gift
Will be used maybe twice?
A margarita machine, a candle
A warmer for brie
And LOOK – there’s the Sham Wow
That’s seen on TV!
Some wall art, a tea towel
A singing head for the shower
Can I sit in this massage chair
For another half hour?
A series of cooking utensils
That they say won’t dare slip.
A snuggie or blanket
For when it feels a bit nip.
And while browising for others
I cant help but see
1001 products
That are just right for me!
A travel size deodorant
When I go far from home
And an ugly brown box
That will hold my cell phone.
My cart is now full of stuff
Of all different shapes
Surely there’s room to bring home
Some new bedroom drapes.
So I went a bit overboard
There’s no need to scoff
My expired coupons
Mean 20 percent off!
I pull out all the cardboard
Aren’t discounts so great?
Even when the savings on something
Comes to $1.28
I take my place in line happily
With the rest of the gift haulers
Until I see I blew my budget
By two hundred dollars!
I my heart starts to beat quickly
I feel so insane
Was my brilliant shopping idea
Executed in vein?
I grab the Magic 8 ball
Atop of my cart
To see what divine wisdom
It has to impart.
Did I go too far with my impulses?
Did I overstep or transgress?
Shake Shake! It is clear
All signs point to YES.
So if you want to be frugal
And efficient this year
Shop online, use coupon codes
As for the store – just stay clear.
6 Responses received
Alison says:
December 9th, 2009 at 7:54 am
December 9th, 2009 at 7:54 am
Brilliant, Em!
Happy Three-More-Days-of-Running-Around-Like-a- Wombat-Before-Peacefully-Kindling-the-Lights-of-Chanukah!
Grammy says:
December 9th, 2009 at 9:25 am
December 9th, 2009 at 9:25 am
Cannot help but ditto the BRILLANT, I haven’t even started yet BUT am thinking about it..does that count.
Love you and your talent
Grammy
Elizabeth says:
December 9th, 2009 at 9:39 am
December 9th, 2009 at 9:39 am
Do you know what is currently sitting on the driver’s side of my car? A gigantic stack of BB&B coupons that I’ve been saving for months, and have gotten desperate because I am plum out of ideas for stocking stuffers! Wow, talk about being in the same wavelength. And I had no idea that “B Cubed,” as you so eloquently state, accepts expired coupons. I think my stack just doubled.
rjga says:
December 9th, 2009 at 9:54 am
December 9th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Big B cubed fan also. Not only to they never expire, you can use as many coupons as you have items in your cart! ANd it has the best Judaica around. I like their menorahs best!
Well Read Hostess says:
December 9th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
December 9th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Perfect.
I’m on my way there after school…maybe.
You might have changed my mind!
Walking In My Sleep says:
December 10th, 2009 at 9:25 am
December 10th, 2009 at 9:25 am
I suspect your experience at the store is the overriding reason so many grocery stores don’t sell online! I am the queen of impulse buying and haven’t ventured near a store yet this season…on purpose. Happy holidays!
