The following is an open letter to the brothers Mendell:

Dear Noah and Chase:

We don’t know why you don’t like us.  Presumably we were put on this earth specifically for your benefit but for some reason unbeknownst to everyone with a brain, you have repeatedly shunned us.  We know your mother wants us to be friends.  Everyday we hear her gently suggest that you choose us over all the others.  And every day you say no, and our hearts sink.  We spend so much time alone.

We know we are heavy but we really don’t think that is a good reason to find us so objectionable.  We were born this way.  We can’t help it.  We want you to know that many people consider us attractive.  And yes, we are sometimes overbearing, but it is only in your best interest.  We never pegged either of you to bow to peer pressure and do what all the other stupid kids were doing.  We guess we were wrong.

You know, someday in the not so distant future you will feel bad that you did not give us the love and attention we deserve!  You will want us and we won’t be around.  You will feel cold and miserable with no one to wrap their sleeves around you and make it all okay.  That will be a sad day, boys.  Your mother, smart woman that she is, has been predicting it for weeks.  But there is still time to do the right thing.

Give us a try. Just once.  We want to go to school and hang out in the classroom.  We want to play on the playground with Chase and take the bus home with Noah.  We want to walk the dog, rides bikes, and skateboard with you.

You are our only hope.  Tomorrow morning, choose wisely.  Choose us.

Warmly,

Your Winter Jackets

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