Yesterday I went for my routine mammogram which on the spectrum of necessary evils ranks worse than the optometrist and dermatologist but better than the dentist and the gynecologist.   It’s really not that torturous for me and my B-cups, although the technician shared with me that women who are completely flat-chested or those who are cursed/blessed with D cups and above find the procedure much more uncomfortable. 

As I am led through the motions, I tend to let my mind wander so as not to focus on the fact that I am being screened for the disease which shall not be spoken.  Yesterday I pondered the fact that the mammogram technicians are always unassuming, non-threatening middle-aged women.  Call central casting for a mammogram tech and you will get same actresses who are up for roles as librarians or bakers.  They are never young and they are NEVER male. 

This is a stock photo — in other words, this is not me.

Check out the technician! Am I right or what?

Check out the technician! Am I right or what?

The latter restriction I imagine is for obvious reasons.  I mean you are definitely felt up pretty good as the tech maneuvers your boob between the two sheets of glass.  But I have to wonder in this day and age, could this be a discrimination issue?   What about the poor male nurse who always dreamed of conducting mammograms but was never allowed to simply because of one chromosome???   I began to imagine a Candid Camera moment where a woman goes in for her annual mammogram and the technician is a young male nurse who looks like one of the Jonas Brothers.  I had to stop that train of thought because it was making me chuckle and the tech was telling me to hold perfectly still.

I have a male gynecologist and a male internist.  I manage my way through both exams with the same mantra, “He sees this ALL the time.”  It has served me well.  Male patients are constantly handled by female nurses and doctors which, stupid porn fantasies aside, seem to be non-events.  So, what do you think MoB readers?   Are we women ready for the Mannogram?

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