To: The Somali Pirates

From:  MothersofBrothers PR Consulting Group

Subject: Rebranding Campaign for 2009

On behalf of the MoB, thank you for the opportunity to provide you with totally unsolicited PR advice regarding your image and brand recognition needs going forward.  Based upon recent developments, we believe you have an excellent opportunity to put forth a strong and consistent message that dovetails with your stated mission of peril and death to the passengers of U.S. ships.  Clearly you mean business and have the entrepreneurial drive and tenacity to stay the current course.  However, we have but one recommendation which will go a long way towards meeting your goals without compromising your core values.

Change. Your. Name.

We recognize a great deal of thought goes into a name so we hope our advice does not offend.  Perhaps there is a cultural difference here of which you have been previously unaware.  You see, here in the United States, we don’t take “pirates” very seriously.  In fact, most of us find them rather goofy.  You can blame the great authors or film makers but when Americans think of pirates, we think of…




You have been unfairly stereotyped, but that doesn’t prevent us from wondering if you own a talking parrot, wear a patch on your eye, or yell ARGH as you climb aboard our ships.  To put the emasculation of your persona in another way, little children like to dress up as pirates for Halloween…

 pirate for boys 

And young women also have been known to don pirate costumes when they want to look “sexy”. 

pirate women 

You do not want to be cute, or silly, or sexy.  You want to be scary, because as your recent actions have proven, we should be very much afraid of you.

Based on the above analysis, our specific recommendation is to adopt a new name that more aptly applies to reality:  Terrorist.  We realize that it lacks a certain uniqueness but the chilling impact of the term more than compensates for its ubiquity. 

Should you choose to move forward with this branding strategy, we are prepared to assist in getting the word out to the mainstream media who will be instrumental in your transformation. 

On final note:  In lieu of our regular retainer, we would be pleased to receive a copy of your map to the buried treasure. 

Thank you for your time.


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