I hoped against hope that the brothers would bond at camp this summer.  The love for one another that I know exists way down deep inside of them would blossom and they would return as best buddies.  When they made it all the way home from Kunkletown without a single request for the other to “stop breathing so loud”, I thought that perhaps my dreams might have come true.  But alas, no.  They started up again once they walked through the front door of the house.

I take some comfort in knowing that my sister and I fought terribly as children.  I clearly remember hating her at very specific times, as I am sure she hated me.  There was the infamous cartwheel incident and the baloney sandwich beaming, two dark days that will go down in family folklore along with countless other incidents that were clearly her fault entirely.  But we are now very close and I count on her, along with my Mom, as one of my most trusted confidantes.  And when we need a little estrogen festrogen, the three of us take off for a day or two and spend hours talking about our FEELINGS.

Two weeks ago we went to NYC to do just that.  Thanks to a mix up at the DoubleTree (and a nasty front desk manager), Jules and I found ourselves sharing a queen bed. As annoyed as I was at our predicament (the hotel screwed up and offered no apology or token free breakfast), it brought us back to a time when we were children and used to fall asleep holding hands to see if we could “stay that way all night”.  We never did.  And, lo and behold, rather than fight about who was sleeping on whose SIDE, we both took extra care to be sure the other had the most room.


The three of us had a blast – on the train, at dinner, the show (we saw Hair where we got to dance on stage with the cast at the end), and the high line were just a few of the highlights.  It doesn’t’ matter what city we are in – when I am with my Mom and my sister, I am always home.

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And while I can’t help but wish that my boys have the same strong relationship with each other and with me that I do with Mom and Julie, I sometimes wonder if my aspirations for them are pipe dreams because they are after all…boys.

Maybe they won’t go away with each other to see a Broadway show, or take time out from a busy day to talk about their FEELINGS.  But I hope they find their own unique tethers to one another and to me as grownups, and value them deeply as I do.

But at the moment I would settle for them sharing the remote control.

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