It was only a matter of time. The events of the last week come as no shock to Dave and me. The only surprise is that it took this long. And that Chase was the first one to be hit with the genetic betrayal that is his legacy. We always assumed that Noah would be first.
A note came home from the school nurse. Chase failed his eye exam.
Sorry, kid. Be grateful you lived a full decade without having to worry about losing, breaking, or abhorring your glasses. Daddy and I were both saddled with coke bottle bottoms at an early age. And looked how great we turned out.
The diagnosis won’t be confirmed until next week when we go to visit the eye doctor, but I can’t imagine this story isn’t going to end with a new accessory for my little guy. And he is NOT happy about this AT ALL.
I was hopeful that the whole Harry Potter thing would have made glasses cool again. Not so much. Personally, I have a thing for guys in glasses, but that information would probably not help Chase – and, in fact, it could potentially scar him for life as mothers are not supposed to think things like that. We are empty, sandwiching-making vessels void of human opinions. I will bite my tongue on this one. Probably.
Yet, as I pondered the whole glasses thing, I needed to ask myself, “Why are glasses associated with geeks?” Because clearly the Universe does not cherry pick the geeks and curse them with bad eyes. And Chase is not terribly geeky. He is much cooler than I ever was. But will glasses render him dorky?
A theory: I wonder if geeks (a.k.a. smart kids) tend to wear glasses more because they actually do the intelligent thing that is prescribed to them. And the “cool kids” who are much more concerned with appearance do NOT wear their glasses even though their eyes are just as lousy as the geek sitting next to them.
This theory is mere conjecture on my part but I think it holds some water. If Chase gets glasses, his decision to wear them will be yet another window into his emerging psyche – and one that I am anxious to peer through. And truth be told, I hope he’s a geek at heart.
