Having only boys saves you from many battles. I, for one, am truly grateful that I will never have to engage in:
- The Battle of the Bare Midriff
- Guerilla Warfare in the Lipstick Jungle
- The First (or Last) to Get Her Period Mood Bombs
- P.O.W. Escape in Slutty Clothing Subterfuge
For my dear friends with daughters out there – good luck with ALL THAT. But just so you know that mothers of brothers also have their unique battles to fight, I share with you the first in a long series of skirmishes which I am destined to lose. How do I know victory will be elusive before I even begin to fight? I know because I’ve seen the casualties of this war. Brave mothers who fought before me. Mothers far stronger and with so much more spine and energy than I. Mothers whose sons are at this very moment are inhabiting this planet looking disturbingly like Cousin It. Yes, you know I’m talking about….
HAIR WARS!!!!!
A confession: I used to judge Moms whose boys had ridiculously long hair. And I include Kate Hudson and Celine Dion in that mix! I mean, c’mon, are you trying to make some kind of point? Because… HELLO?!?… Your kid looks like a girl. Having had a pixie hair cut as a child, and being called “son” more than once during those formative years, I can tell you, you are NOT doing your offspring any favors with the gender bender hair.
But my kids WANT long hair.
I have picked up little signs along the way that this is true, the largest clue being the conversation last week in which they both said to me, “Mom, we WANT long hair.”
So right now I’m doing the Gandhi and choosing peace. We have no trips to Kids Kuts scheduled despite the family bar mitzvah we are looking forward to attending in the next ten days. I like to think of myself as Kate Hudson without Chris Robinson Owen Wilson Lance Armstrong.
I figure it’s only fair to let them try to grow it this summer. I’m in the process of growing out my own short haircut, having made it through that awkward stage in which it looks like crap every day. But I fear “awkward” will be the operative word for my guys going forward – and they won’t have the benefit of those cute, colorful headbands.
Even by choosing peace, I recognize I may instigate another war. The Axis of Grandmothers will surely ally themselves against my little Sampsons because that’s what Grandmom’s are supposed to do. And I will take the bullets…for a while.
And just in case you are wondering where Dave stands on this issue, please know that I am sleeping with the enemy.
So, what do you think? A war worth fighting? Weigh in. Strong opinions welcome.
