I wrote this post on the late Acela train to NYC last night having dashed on board directly from Noah’s school show,  a.k.a. THE EXTRAVAGANZA.  I thought I would be able to see the entire show from start to finish because it started at 7:00 and my train wasn’t until 9:15.  However, I learned yesterday that THE EXTRAVAGANZA was 2 ½ hours long.  I’m sorry, come again?   So… I took off work and watched the second half of THE EXTRAVAGANZA yesterday morning at the performance for the school and watched the first half of THE EXTRAVAGANZA last night.  Noah was concerned I would be lost seeing it in reverse, but somehow my Mommy pea brain was able to follow the plot.  Hey, I saw Pulp Fiction. I can do non-linear. But the coolest thing was that Noah had a solo and kept it a secret and did not tell me!  Even more impressive was that he told Chase and HE kept it a secret too.  I gushed.  And took pictures.

noah extravaganza 2 Noah Extravaganza1 

And I still felt shitty when I left.

I didn’t have much of a choice but to leave early because today I take the stage.  I’m speaking at a conference, interviewing New York Times reporter, Zach Kouwe about the future of private equity and newspapers and reporting.  And I’ll ask him about how to get stories into the NY Times because people will want to know the answer to THAT question.  I’m also hosting a dinner tonight for about 30 people – half of whom are also journalists — so that we can make better connections with the financial press in NYC.  It will be a productive two days.

But tomorrow morning, I will miss Chase’s young author’s presentation on the country of Chile.  He did a PowerPoint presentation and I found a recipe for Chilean coffee cake that he and Dave will make tonight and bring in to share.  The kid gave me his blessing to miss it but I still feel shitty.  Yet, if I left the conference early, I would feel lousy about that too.   (Shhh. Do you hear that?  It’s Don McClean singing “Cat’s in the Cradle”.)  Maybe while I’m up here, I’ll buy Chasey a little something.  Like a Ferrari. 

I love my job and most of the time I manage this working parent thing okay.  But there are times like this when even though you put in a monumental effort to play both roles well,  you feel as if you’re not quite cutting it on either end.  This week was one of those times.  Noah doesn’t care that I saw his EXTRAVAGANZA in reverse and I don’t think that Chase will miss me terribly at his presentation tomorrow. (In fact, I think he is secretly relieved as somehow my presence tends to embarrass him.)  But it is my God given right to embarrass my kid, just like its my right to feel shitty and lousy about missing the chance to do it right one last time before the school year is over.

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