For Sale: One bottle of liquid gratitude

Product Description: One 3 oz. bottle of gratitude collected by yours truly last week coming home from the mall after buying oldest son his first “decent” cell phone.  The kid was so happy the “thanks yous” and the  “you are the best parents evers” were literally dripping from his chin as he articulated his joy.  After about his fifth expression of thanks, I simply held a small bottle near his mouth and captured at least 5 more assertions that his life is completely wonderful thanks only to his father and me.  I then tightly sealed the bottle, suspecting that I might need to store these warm fuzzies to use at some later date.

That later date came early this week, only a few days after my initial gratitude collection, when suddenly Dave and I were no longer “the coolest parents ever”.  In fact, we were downright cruel, cold and thoughtless because we wouldn’t consider contributing to the purchase of the latest and greatest Nerf gun.  Any remnants of phone gratitude were gone.  But luckily I had that which I had collected and stored for occasions such as this.

As I was about to douse myself in the thanks I deserve for giving birth to him, I realized that there might be a market for such a product – especially with other parents who have similar experiences but have yet to master the art of collecting gratitude in a bottle.  So I am selling it here on MoBay.

A few disclaimers:  You can only use once so choose your occasion wisely.  Also, it is twelve year old boy gratitude so you may experience any of the following:

  • Enthusiastic high fives that are a little painful.
  • Hugs that last less than a microsecond so pay attention in the beginning
  • Endearing expressions such as “You guys rock!”  Or “Epic!” – listen closely for these
  • No filter was used during the gratitude collection so there may actually be a few “bonus” assertions mixed in the bottle.  These were directed at his little brother and sound something like  “Don’t ever touch this or you will die.”

But overall you can feel the love for a solid 10-15 minutes.

Bidding starts at $1000.

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