Are the people who get to choose car names being evil and ironic, or merely clueless and stupid, when they pick monikers for their giant SUVs and trucks? 

It drives me crazy that they name them after pristine parts of nature, or glorious locations, both of which are endangered by the very vehicles that laud and glorify them.

Dodge Durango.

Yukon Denali.

Hyundai Tiburon.

Kia Sedona.

Toyota Sequoia. 

Ram Laramie.

Why stop there – why not a Honda Ozone, a BMW Yellowstone, a Toyota Wilderness?  Those things are also finite, precious, and rare.  Shouldn’t they be honored by having vehicles named after them?

We are not fooled, big car companies.  We know that your machines are not making the earth, or anyplace on it, more beautiful or protected. 

Therefore, wouldn’t it be more appropriate to name a car more honestly?  Something like: 

Dodge Fracker

Chrysler Oil Baron

Toyota Tycoon

Of course you woudn’t sell any.  But you might feel ever so slightly more virtuous.

Suggestion box for honest car names now open to MOB readers.
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