Like many of you I’ve followed the Occupy movement with sense of curiosity and befuddlement. In solidarity with the protesters, I share the sentiment that something is not quite right in America these days. But that’s where my camaraderie ends. Because – hellooooo – life has never been fair and the 99 percent have always gotten the short end of the stick since time began. Call me a (gulp) Republican but these folks really need to stop the whining, the encampments, and the quickie, on-the-spot marriages to some other lost soul they met yesterday and get on with their lives.
Note to protesters: You are not the 99 percent. You are the 1 percent of Americans goofy enough to sleep out in tents on city streets with no bathrooms or running water for longer than….. 8 minutes.
Many observers suggest that the Occupy movement lacks a cohesive message and I wholeheartedly agree. It has a great brand which has gotten a ton of free publicity without paying a dime to overpriced consultants. But the protesters fragmented messages have squandered every opportunity to effect real change. As a (gulp) PR professional, I might offer the following advice: Find a narrow cause and apply the crap out of the Occupy brand to make a difference. Not sure where to look? I’m way ahead of you. Here are 10 causes where 99 percent of Americans suffer and one percent thrives:
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Occupy the First Class Lavatory
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Occupy Any Monty Python Movie
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Occupy Freshman Calculus
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Occupy Vegan Gluten-Free Sugar Free Cookies
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Occupy the First Row of a Movie Theater
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Occupy the Facebook “Poke” Feature
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Occupy Middle School
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Occupy the New York Yankees
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Occupy Anchovy Pizza
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Occupy the Occupy Movement Hype
These causes require no explanation. If they did, they wouldn’t qualify as easily brandable Occupy Opportunities. As for the execution of these events and how a group of people might go about getting their message out, I leave this to the protestors, who judging by the recent evictions may have some time on their hands to figure it out.
Happy weekend MoB readers! Hope its productive!
