I didn’t cry when Noah graduated from 5th grade on Tuesday.  Like my comrade Kim who was there for her son, I just wasn’t feeling it.  And I’m a crier so I had to ask “Where were my tears of _____________?” (insert favorite emotion here).  I was happy to be there to see his goofy grin on stage, but not delirious; I was proud of my kid for being such a cool human being but I have to say that graduating 5th grade is pretty much a cake walk since you are required by law to attend; and I wasn’t the least bit sad, not even nostalgic.  Hmmm.  I wonder what that’s all about?

I have come to the following conclusion:  Parents cry at these milestone events because they are a stark reminder that we are getting older.  Not our kids, although they clearly are, too.  But when you realize that your little guy is now wearing deodorant and his feet are almost the same size as yours, the first thought that comes to mind is I am certainly NOT old enough to have a child that grown up.  And then we cry.  Parents have an ultra sensitive awareness of the passage of time.  Kids have absolutely none.  And as my Mom once informed me, the older you get the faster times flies.  Mom was right.

So why didn’t I cry on Tuesday?  I think it’s because I am currently in a place where I think the best is yet to come.  For Noah and for me.  I realize this is coming from the woman who dreaded turning 40 this year and has periodic meltdowns and gets in major funks on a regular basis.  Rest assured, I have not started taking Prozac.  I just decided at some point in the last year that life doesn’t have to start to suck as you get older.  Since then I’ve gotten in shape, done a ton of writing and committed to trying a bigger project, made some new friends, and taken a major chill around the house.  Considering the alternative, this was a good choice.

George Bernard Shaw said that “life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself”.  When you are done vomiting from all this touchy-feely, gimme-a-break, I-hate-her-guts-for-her-sunny-disposition rhetoric, think about it, and think about all the times you lamented growing older as your kids grew older, and know that it’s never too late to decide that it’s only going to get better.


Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter