So there I was, stuck inside the house. A blizzard fell around us. The world outside was a magical, mystical scene, the snow transforming our usually dull state, with a flick of two letters in the final syllable, into the sparkling land of Pennsylnavia. A fire crackled in the grate. A batch of sugar cookies awaited frosting and sprinkles. The Scrabble board was set.
We couldn’t go anywhere, nobody could come here, and all was covered in a blanket of beautiful, pristine snow.
Sounds like a dream, right? Wrong. Because I was stuck with a book I was hating during the epic time the kids are calling The Six Day Weekend. And the bookstores and libraries were 1) inaccessible and 2) closed. All avid readers can sympathize with me. I was in bibliophile hell.
This is the book I detested. But I felt compelled to finish it, because I had nothing in my on-deck circle. My side of the bed was bare. That was my own irresponsible fault. It’s like letting your car run out of gas. Always keep your bedside reading stack topped up! How could this have happened?
This Mennonite memoir has gotten a lot of buzz, and most reviews on amazon are, to my amazement, positive. People actually compare the author to David Sedaris, favorably. Are you kidding me? Sedaris is a neurosurgeon of nuance, brilliant and precise. Janzen is, at best, a chiropractor of comedy, searching fruitlessly for the funnybone. She ham-handedly cracks a few lame jokes, makes endless mean observations about her loved ones, and repeats herself endlessly.
Yes, Rhoda, we remember. Your husband ran off with Bob from gay.com. How many times do you have to remind us? Your mom is a charming, no-nonsense nurse who is comfortable with body topics. She sings gross songs and says crude things and does base things in public, and you completely out her for this. Good thing moms love their children unconditionally.
That doesn’t mean I have to love Rhoda, or her memoir. But I’m stuck with her, on account of snow.
It’s enough to drive me to get a Kindle. Then, at the touch of a button, I would have an entire world of brand new books at my fingertips. All my problems would be solved! Right?
Finally, please take a peek at the incredibly stylish bunkbeds offered by our newest advertiser. Just click at top left. I’m tempted to get one of these babies, and my babies are all teenagers.
Please weigh in. How do you like your Kindle? Is it a reader’s dream? Would it solve my dilemma? Or is it heresy to even consider such a thing?
