Hastily chosen and historically inaccurate photo illustrating ”British admiral.”

In 2011, OMG was added to the Oxford English Dictionary Online.

The first recorded usage of OMG was in a 1917 letter written by a British Admiral.

Reported by The New York Times, March 27, 2011


From:   Roderick

TO:      Abigail

DT:      March 30, 1917

RE:      Random

So when I told the boys to man the torpedos, my darling, OMG, you should’ve seen them running around!  They were totally freaking out!!!  Helter skelter around here!  Yes, we’re really going to aim an explosive device at that other vessel – it contains, like, our enemies?  Hallo! 

After the naval battle that ensued, my peeps were all exhausted!!!  Very little merriment that night – zero LOLing!!! The men just wanted to crash in their hammocks.  Catch some Z’s, have some sweet dreams, before the bloody dawn of the next day. 

So it was like, silent in the mess.  Morale hit rock bottom!!! A subaltern came up to me and was all “Sir, we have a situation on our hands, yo.”   And that was the lightbulb moment.    Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. The answer to our doldrums. 

When we broke out the keg and red plastic cups, everyone got wasted and sh*t.  Did the men put on striped shirts, beribboned tams and dance on barrels?  Check VisageTome.

I have repeatedly told them not to put up anything that may hurt their chances of someday being promoted up through the ranks, but do they listen?  Do they have the ability to see into the future, the big picture, long-term?  They do not.  They don’t realize that everything on a computer is there forever, on someone’s hard drive, in the War Offices or at Scotland Yard.  Everything on VT can and will come back to haunt them.

Some of the men receive naughty pictures from their sweethearts in Cornwall or Dover or wherever.  On their telephone screens.  The racy eyelet chemises, the whale-bone girdles, the pigeon-breasted silhouettes!  OMG, you know?  This sextant-messaging has got to stop.  It’s indecent, and the men should really not be thinking of carnal matters while at sea.

Yeah, right, who’m I kidding? They’re gents.  It doesn’t matter where they are, they’re thinking about sex 24/7.   I just made up that abbreviation.  Do you think it will catch on?  If so, I want credit!!  That’s one of mine!!   Jk.

Well, wish us luck, my darling.  More battles await.  Don’t stop reading my blog (shout out again for suggesting the name Naval Gazing), keep putting links to it on yours (how on earth did you come up with Ahab’s Wife for the title, you clever little poppet?), continue to send me cheerful texts, and tend those home fires, keep them burning.  Oh, and please don’t bother opening my sock drawer, nothing to see there. 

Remember this.  TKU 4 all U do 4 me, ILY 4evah. 


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