In a last minute decision, I ran in my first 5K race in about three years on Friday night.  It was a fundraiser for a great cause at the middle school.  My boys were running in it.  It was a lovely evening and I had been toiling at my desk all day.  I have gotten into shape in the last three months.  But oddly, none of those points was a worthy enough rationale for me to run.

I ran because I wanted to try out my new sneakers.

Yes, MoB readers, I couldn’t wait to lace up my sea foam green, springy Brooks running shoe and kick some new sneaker ass.  In fact, I was sure that my new purchase would make me a contender for fastest Mom (among a highly competitive crowd.)  For reals.

Well, the gold medal was not to be.  But I still had a great time running with my family and alongside my partner in crime, Mo.  And my feet felt good.  But the real consolation prize was inspiration for today’s blog.

Have you ever stopped to acknowledge those time-honored convictions which you developed around age 5, which still hold true in your mind today, despite overwhelming scientific evidence that they are complete bullshit?

Me neither.  Until now.

So dear readers, today I present to you:

10 Timeless Half Truths for Intelligent Adults

  1. New sneakers make you run faster.
  2. Covering your eyes during scary moments in your life will stop them from happening.
  3. Making wishes on birthday candles, shooting stars or dandelion spores are still worth the effort.  (You never know.  Could come true)
  4. The best part about baking anything is licking the bowl.
  5. Some people actually do have cooties and should not be touched.
  6. The first serving of peanut butter out of a fresh jar tastes one million times better.
  7. A band aid noticeably decreases the pain of a superficial wound.
  8. Sunglasses immediately raise your coolness factor by at least 10.
  9. Stepping on a crack will indeed break your mothers back so avoid these at all costs. *
  10. When you can’t get a gadget to work after working at it for an acceptable length of time, hitting or slamming it onto a hard surface might help.

I feel as if I am only scratching the surface here.  Surely there are behaviors you have been stealthily exhibiting through most of your adult life that you don’t want anyone to know about because they are rooted in childhood myths.  Share them here!  Kids – out your parents – its time to start embarrassing them back.

And everyone have a mature and sensible week.

* Thank you to Mo for this one   I didn’t even realize I do this until you brought it up.
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