Sadly, we needed expensive studies and elected officials to tell us that texting while driving = bad.

This report comes straight from the Ministry of the Bleeding Obvious (hey, have I just quoted a Monty Python reference?).  The conclusion is painfully self-evident.  Do we really have to be told not to take our eyes off the road and look down at a tiny little keyboard while operating a two-ton death machine, possibly with innocent people in it, and innocent people all around?  Tragically, yes.  Yes, we do have to have this law laid down.  Studies now show that texting massively increases the chance of crashing.

Maybe the studies and senators have done something important here.   They’ve exposed just one of the terribly common and terribly dangerous activities people do while sitting behind the wheel.

Other asinine driving behaviors that I’ve seen with my own eyes, or heard reported from solid sources:

WATCHING MOVIES while driving.  Are auto manufacturers really putting screens on the front dashboard?  Are you kidding me?  Shouldn’t such stupidity be outlawed?  Aren’t horrendous outcomes pretty much assured?  Years from now, kids will sit in drivers ed class, watching gory movies of bodies being pulled from crumpled cars.  “Yes, apparently the driver was guffawing at Dumb and Dumber when he plowed into the back of the minivan, going 85 mph.” 

READING while driving.  Maps, newspapers, magazines.  Pull over to read the map.  Listen to books on tape.  Wait until you’re in your easy chair to read the newspaper.   Your eyes are supposed to be constantly scanning the road ahead and back and forth between your side mirrors.  CONSTANTLY.  You’re not supposed to be looking at the Macy’s sale.  Why does this even have to be stated?

PLAYING GUITAR while driving.  Chris witnessed this on a highway near Valley Forge once.  So that’s why George Washington’s troops suffered through a horrible winter.  So you could strum folk songs while operating your Chevy Nova.

APPLYING MASCARA while driving.  Ever poke yourself in the eye with the wand thingy?  I’ve done it plenty of times while standing, stationary, at a sink.  Blurry, watery vision is the instant, painful result.

Maybe President Obama should weigh in on this issue and pronounce that texting while driving is “acting stupidly.”  And surely his drinking buddies at the picnic table last night would agree with him on that.  Because the incendiary topic of race is not a factor in this equation.  It just comes down to common sense, basic respect for human life, and responsible behavior.



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