It’s Spring time in the suburbs.  And during this season of re-birth there is only one thing that terrifies us parents more than the school note which says that the kid who sits next to your kid has head lice.

I’m talking ticks. 

Each night Dave and I scan our boys’ scalps, underarms, and otherwise unexamined body parts in search of these microscopic, Lyme-inducing, terroristic blood suckers.  We will remain “luna-ticks” until the first frost in early November.

So you can imagine the hysteria which ensued earlier this week when I was giving our dog, Motzie, a happy little belly scratch and Dave, who was in the vicinity, zeroed in on a black little object embedded in her tummy.

Dave:  Wait!  Is that tick?
Me:  I don’t know!!  I’ll distract her with the tummy scratch and you investigate!
Dave:  (trying desperately to part dog belly hair as I further indulge pooch)  I can’t tell!  You look!
Me:  Go get the tweezers!  I think we have a live one!!

The tweezers arrive and I begin to remove the tick while Dave holds the dog down.  She doesn’t seem to care, basically lying there happily as I poke, prod and pull on this evil bug, which I must say was not coming out easily at all.

And then we notice that she has two ticks.  Directly across from one another.  Perfectly symmetrical and identical in shape and color.

I have just tried to remove my dog’s nipple.

The universe was correct in granting me boys whose body parts I will never mistake for vermin. 

P.S.  No Pugs were hurt in the inspiration for this post.  Mo is fine and received many, many, many treats that night.


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