Yesterday morning, driving back from the gym, I was flipping through the radio dial when I happened upon a surreal piece of real-life radio theater. A woman named Tanya had phoned in to a DJ named Chio, who runs a feature called War of the Roses. Tanya was worried that her boyfriend James was, perhaps, maybe, straying. [...]
Inspired by a middle-aged woman spotted at a gas station near the New Jersey turnpike, I am planning to get a tattoo. This woman had one on her neck. When necks get crepey, cover the wrinkles with gothic printing. People will be so busy reading your neck, they won’t notice that your neck is no longer [...]
Now that our firstborn’s Gap Year is drawing to a close, the jury is in. It was a great decision. Instead of going straight to college, Ian accepted an offer from Maryland Institute College of Art (MICA) last May, then deferred for a year. As many MOB readers will recall, he spent the summer lifeguarding before going off [...]
Going back to my childhood home is like entering a portal to the past. In the basement is my pink-painted dresser, with baby dresses inside. In the kitchen is Danish modern ironstone crockery that my mother acquired sometime in the 1970s, perhaps a grocery store giveaway. This exact pattern is now a hot item on etsy. The [...]
Good morning to you! I got that line from Matt and Meredith. They say it to each other all the time on The Today Show, and it always sounds a bit babyish to my ears. Maybe because when the boys were toddlers, we took them to Makin’ Music and they sang a song involving those [...]
My old Missouri home was a border state, harboring both Union and Confederate sympathizers during the Civil War. Parts of Missouri even seceded. There was the Kingdom of Callaway with its capitol, Kingdom City – now a not-so-regal truckstop between Columbia and St. Louis. Columbia is, I realize every time I go back, a Southern-Midwestern kind [...]
I’m back in my childhood home in Columbia, Missouri, where I’ve spent a wonderful few days with my dad and 66% of my brothers, not to mention my dad’s girlfriend, plus lots of neighbors and some dear old friends. I love coming back to my childhood home and finding stuff in basement, closets, and drawers [...]
In 4th grade, Ian came home one day in April announcing that it was National TV Off Week. The children in his classroom were all encouraged to give this a try. Chris and I were game. The first day of withdrawal was terrible. The boys were cranky. The little brothers were angry at Ian for [...]
When Ian was little, I was so afraid he would choke on food that I wouldn’t let him eat unsupervised. This went on for years. He was five before I let him try that magical wonderfood known as gum – and no, not just because I’m a gum-denier. Ian’s first stick of the forbidden Fruit-Stripe was a momentous event, [...]
While waiting in the pediatrician’s office for Malcolm’s “well child” appointment yesterday, I read that Annie Lamott has a new book coming out. This did not stir the reaction you’re probably expecting. Can I be honest here? I don’t like Annie Lamott. I am apparently the only person in the entire nation who does not adore this [...]
