It’s Saturday afternoon and I am hiding in my home office, completely intimidated by what is happening one floor below. Dave is conveniently out, leaving me alone to face the inevitable…alone. There is a 12 year old girl in my living room. With my 12 year old son. They are writing a song together. [...]
Monday’s Riddle: Q: What goes: %&*#@ !!!!!!! Thump! %&*#@!!!!!!! Thump. A: Emily expressing her feelings about Sears Customer Service, then slamming her head against the wall, then expressing some more, then slamming. Expressing. Slamming. Expressing. Slamming. Repeat as needed. Sorry, Sears. You completely blew it with me this weekend. But feel free to use the [...]
As I was ascending the escalator at Penn Station in New York late on Tuesday night, I ran smack into an old boyfriend and was immediately transported back to a time almost 30 years ago when I was young and extremely smitten for the first time in my life. I didn’t stop to talk to [...]
There are few types of parents that I find more distasteful than “stage parents”. You know the type: Moms and Dads who accompany their children to auditions, making their presence known while coaching their little darlings into doing something it’s not clear they really want to do. My “ick factor” has always been high for [...]
Charlie and Chase – The Speech Dear Chase: This past week you ran for student council co-president with your friend Charlie. Together you came up with your own slogan (Charlie and Chase will put a smile on your face!), hung posters, and wrote a speech. You practiced, both with Charlie and with me (and the [...]
It’s officially pool season and as a service to the MoB readership, another post in our How To Series – this one on how to enjoy the pool — Mom style — from start to finish. Give family a warning that you are leaving for the pool in 10 minutes, threatening that anyone not in [...]
This morning Dave told me that if I spent more than 15 minutes on Mothers of Brothers today he would: – divorce me (Too expensive.) – beat me (I have the black belt, my love.) – ridicule me (C’mon, sticks and stones, really?) – overcook my hamburger tonight. (!!!) Oh, the humanity. The man plays hard [...]
The Leukemia Society has been trying desperately to get in touch with me. I know this because they have called me every day for the last week. Their name pops up on caller ID and I let the call go to voicemail. I have nothing against the Leukemia Society. They do excellent work but I [...]
It’s Saturday morning and Noah and I have to run to the bookstore to pick up a gift for a friend. I hop in the car; he hops in the passenger seat… with his Nintendo DS and turns it on. Me: Put that thing back in the house. Noah: Why? Me: It’s an eight minute [...]
In the criminal justice system, petty theft in suburbia pales in comparison to the truly heinous crimes which we see on the cable news networks each night. Knowing that the punk perpetrators are likely never to be caught, families often take matters into their own hands. These are their stories. Bing! Bing! The crime: On [...]
